One of the unique things about the SCA is the way we conduct our combat: deciding whether a blow is struck true or not is primarily the job of the one receiving it. Furthermore, whether that blow is too light or too hard is also the decision of the fighter on the receiving end. Of these two extremes, let us concern ourselves with the latter, as a shot called light is a question of victory, while a shot too hard is a question of safety.
It is incumbent upon the one who strikes the blow to have good calibration, and to err on the side of caution. Perhaps your opponent is from another Kingdom, or inexperienced, or wears lighter armor than the people you are used to fighting. As Meridians, particularly, we take pride in hitting as light as we can, though as hard as we must. That said, it is always better to stop the fight and talk about the situation than to simply start cranking up the power. Maybe a piece of armor is new or out of place, or an old sword has lost its sting.
These considerations are nothing new to veterans of the field, or even to those who watch from the sidelines. Consider also, then, that words are no less weapons than rattan, and their weight can only truly be decided by those that hear them. Just as an honorable fighter cannot tell someone that a blow was not too hard, the one who speaks cannot judge whether offense taken is justified or not.
Verbal calibration is as important as what we do on the field, if not more so. Just as we may fight differently in a local practice versus a far away event, or change calibration for an inter-kingdom war, so it is with words. Your friends may enjoy innuendo, off-color jokes, or playful insults, but the same interactions are not appropriate with an acquaintance or a stranger, and will often cause offense even though no true ill intent was meant.
Words also have greater range than swords; it is much easier for them to strike an unintended target. A fighter who disregards the edge of the list field and stumbles into the crowd is a danger to all. Even when fighting pickups in your backyard it is important to maintain awareness of your surroundings, if only for your own safety.
Finally, the thing we learn early, that we teach to our youngest children, is that anyone can call HOLD. Knight or newcomer, King or commoner, when something is unsafe we all have a duty and responsibility to call it out. It is not something to be taken lightly by the one saying it, for all who hear will stop what they are doing and look around to find the problem. If we are close to the source of the issue, we help as we can. Otherwise, we watch and wait until things are resolved.
All of this is to say that we are, at our best, a Society built on the concept of Honor, which may only stand on a foundation of Compassion and Mercy, Forebearance and Prudence. Let us remember this in our conversations as much as in our combat.