I started a new round collared robe in March at the beginning of the lock down, inspired by THL Ouyang’s round collared robe class she hosted online at the Eastern Gate. I’ve been meaning to make a women’s danryeong (Korean round collared robe) ever since I came across a paper on them a few years ago.
It’s been a long-term project with many rabbit holes and small details that I didn’t expect to encounter. I’ve really enjoyed the process of making it and have been very meticulous with my research and craftsmanship.
But of course, something always goes wrong.
I’m so close to finishing this coat, I’ve designed and painted the two rank badges (I will make a full post on the coat once it’s done!), hand sewn every stitch, made my own fabric knotted buttons, the whole nine yards. I just have to finish the hems and the body of the coat is done.
I cut and sewed the hems. It essentially has three since it’s a cross-over robe with slits up to the armpits. There’s a back piece and the two front pieces that cross over. Get the last stitch in and that feeling of a job well done starts to build up. I put the coat on the rack to admire my work and…
They’re crooked.
Not horribly noticeable hanging up, but noticeable enough when I’m wearing it that my poor husband measures from my shoulders to the floor to make sure I’m not the one that’s crooked.
That feeling of a job well done deflates and I’m kind of shattered. All this hard work and the last thing, the last simple thing is off and I’ve got to do it again. It’s too much and I have to have an angry cry about it. It’s so silly, how can a hem upset me so much? The coat is hanging on a rack in front of the fireplace and the thought of setting it on fire comes to mind.
I’ve eventually cooled off and I’m currently taking apart the stitches on the hem, I have a game plan on how to fix it and I know that it will be better once it’s resewn. I’ve come to realize that this is just a part of the process, things to learn and teach from. Progress can sometimes feel like you’re going backwards. Sometimes it’s having to undo a lot of work so that it can be better. Perfection shouldn’t be expected from the first attempt and it’s okay to mess up and make mistakes. Being gentle with yourself when you fail is allowing yourself to have a positive learning experience instead of turning it into a painful punishment. When you’re a perfectionist, it’s so easy to beat yourself up when you mess up or get discouraged and give up entirely. I’m trying to reframe this as a way to teach people how to fail gracefully.
It sucks having to cut out these stitches, but it’s going to feel so good to get it the way I want it. For me, that’s personal progress!
